Long Distance Relationships - Internet Sex - Articles and
Advice
How Online Dating can be hard when your love is 1000 miles
away
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about love on the Internet!
The sun is shining for you, the birds are singing, there's a spring in your
step, and you've suddenly become one of those people who hums. You're in love.
Life is good except for one small problem. Your sweetie is hundreds or perhaps
thousands of miles away. It's a geographic dilemma. And as exciting as the
whirlwind weekends of romance are, the two of you are beginning to think about
how nice it would be to share all of the little things that people in the same
area code take for granted, like spontaneity and casual time. Should you
relocate for love? Moving means a major upheaval of your life, but the
long-distance thing is expensive, frustrating, and ultimately limiting the
depth of your relationship. Here are some issues to ponder when you're
considering relocating:
What kind of life do you imagine for yourself in the new area?
You may have found Prince or Princess Charming, but how do you feel about the
kingdom? Is this some place that you can envision yourself living out the rest
of your days? How do you feel about the quality of life? Take into account the
weather, cost of living, access to cultural events, proximity to wilderness,
etc.
How do you plan to set up a support system in the new place?
Do you have job prospects there? What about friends or family? Moving is
emotionally stressful. You will be parting with people, places, and things that
are important to you. How comfortable are you with getting to know new people?
You and your companion will need to get used to being together, and you will
also be dealing with all the emotions of becoming accustomed to a new place.
Think about what you need to do to keep from feeling isolated and lost.
Will your lifestyle change completely?
True love is the best thing in the world, but be sure that something appeals to
you about moving to your new area beyond one person. Rural life, for example,
may be perfect for your mate, but if you're an urbanite, how long will it keep
you happy? Are you excited about living there? Will line dancing in Dallas do
it for you when you're used to theatre in New York, or vice versa? Think about
how you'll adapt to the local culture and how much of a lifestyle change you're
willing to make. If you can't think of a few ways to spend your time, think a
little harder about whether this is the right step right now. Also, if, god
forbid, you and your partner broke up, would the new area have any redeeming
qualities for you?
How much time have you previously spent in your new area?
So, you thought northern Alaska was simply stunning when you visited your love
there for a week in the summer, but how are you going to feel about the two
hours of daylight in January? It is an issue. Find out as much as you can about
this possible new home so you can make an informed decision.
* Will you be accessible to old friends and family?
You must set up a new support system of friends in your new area, but old
friends and family can never be replaced. Think about how you'll manage keeping
in touch. Consider the financial burden if you'll be moving far away from most
of the people you know and love. This is especially important if you're
planning to start a family in this new place. Are you prepared to get Mom's
advice over the phone?
How are you going to say goodbye?
For many people, a home town is a big part of your identity. All of the people
and activities that make it special to you also make it hard to leave.
Relocating means closing a chapter of your life and starting a new one, and
your friends and colleagues may not be all that supportive of your decision.
How you will respond to adverse reactions? Make a list for yourself of all the
pros and cons about moving. It will help you in explaining how you feel. Your
best friends just want you to be happy.
How should you close up your life in the town you're leaving?
Moving is a major life change which gives you the freedom and the opportunity
to re-evaluate how your life is structured and what's important to you. Take
advantage of this contemplative time. If you decide that relocating is what you
want to do, tie up your loose ends in your old home. Do the things that you
always meant to do there and say all of the things that you'd always planned on
saying someday. Keep what you value, but get rid of your dead weight and move
on.
The magnetic pull between two people who are absolutely right for each other
can push many obstacles out of the way. Relocating is a big decision, and it
will inevitably be stressful, but sometimes you've just gotta listen to your
heart. Packing up your singlehood and your current way of life is both scary
and exciting, but if your partner is patient, understanding, and willing to
compromise, you'll have the best companion possible to help you get through it.
The two of you can unpack boxes, transfer bills, explore the sights, and hum
through it all together. And that's the best very part.
Love and Relationships - Online Dating - Sex and Romance
Anyone who's ever had a brush with the thing called love knows that this
feeling so desired is also tough to pin down. There are so many kinds. We've
got lusty love, companionate love, fraternal love, the kind of love you have
for your grandparents, thrilling love, young love, self love, and love mixed in
with a lot of pain-and many more. How can we survive a relationship with all
these different forms of love floating around? If you can't survive the change,
you'd better learn, since relationships are filled with love that's
ever-changing.
Love's Frontier
You start out a relationship with tons of passionate love, with lots of lust
mixed in. New love feels like you're climbing a mountain-thrilling, with lots
of new territory to explore with every step. As the relationship endures (if
you're lucky enough to have it endure) you'll begin to grow to know each other
more deeply. Then love deepens, too, broadening into a 'best-friend' and
companion-style love. No doubt the lusty, new love is still there, but starts
to get filled out by these other feelings.
It's when love starts to change form that some people can't cope; they sense
the shift as a loss of passion. They sense a reduction in passion, which to
them means that something's wrong with the relationship. But it doesn't have to
be that way.
When you feel yourself moving over into the companionate sort of love, just
relax. It's not easy, but try to let the relationship exist at its level. It
takes some getting used to but as you may soon find you enjoy it, too. This
phase I have affectionately termed The Plains of Kansas. On the Plains, you are
definitely no longer in the mountains of love/lust, with all that unexplored,
exciting territory, where each step takes you around a new corner, over a new
rock. But The Plains of Kansas have their own charms and benefits-you'll just
have to look a litter harder for what's interesting there, see a little
farther. You're in a place that seems to go on forever, with no apparent
markers or change in landscape. But if you pay attention to the details, you'll
find plenty to keep you interested.
Dizzying Love
Of course, the thrill of falling in love has its ups and downs two. As love
swells up then changes in a relationship, so does your sanity level-or so it
seems. On the first date, maybe you feel some of your senses slipping away,
"melting into her eyes." After a month you may think, "I don't
feel right when we're apart." But you never had that problem before. And
of course, it doesn't feel like too serious a problem to have. It is part of
the thrill of love.
Let's face it. Partners complicate our lives. First, we're driven nearly crazy
with the heady rush to love. Our friends will wonder what's happened to us.
Then, after a few more dates, a few more weeks, both men and women wonder
neurotically, often desperately:"What if she doesn't like me as much as I
like her?"... "Am I being used?"... "Is he going to pull
away just when I'm falling in love?"... "How much will a breakup hurt
me?" Not pleasant thoughts. But we've all experienced them at least
momentarily as we embark down the road to coupledom.
Love can get even more complicated the longer you're in it. For instance,
lovers tend to know more than anyone about our weaknesses and our strengths,
our dreams and our worries. We allow them in and give them Knowledge. It takes
a while-at least a few months-for this Knowledge to build up. But it will.
Be happy that Knowledge can be used for good, to build us up and make us feel
stronger, more secure, and happier. But partners also use Knowledge against us,
leaving us feeling vulnerable, sometimes abused. Being prepared for just how
many "buttons" are going to get pushed is important to keeping the
relationship going strong even during tough times. And all this happens because
of love.
So take love, in all its forms, and embrace it. At least try. Don't get scared
when you first start to realize that "some of the passion is gone,"
after the first month, or after the first year. Right around the corner is
another kind of love that brings its own rewards.
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Free Dating Sites versus Totally Free
Dating Sites
Defining "FREE" Dating Services - I'm a firm believer in
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remember the confusion and frustration of clicking on sites claiming Totally
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part, the majority of sites claim Free Personals when marketing
which can also be misconstrued as meaning that all site features are free. To
make it clear, let's define the industry standards of the word "Free" being
used.
Free Dating Service - Typically
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ads. However, different sites require various paid upgrades to use advanced
site features such as chatrooms and sending messages.
Free Dating Service Trials -
Usually means that singles can join the site with no restrictions using all
site functions for a predetermined amount of time. Your profile can remain in
the database, but your downgraded to basic memberships after the trial.
Totally Free Dating Services -
"Should" mean that all site features are available to all singles with no
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hate pop ups, so you'll never find any pop up pages or ads within our networks,
and we never use tracking software or any cookies on your computer. We respect
your privacy
, always.
